We look back on our mistakes. That one bad turn we made twenty years ago has turned into a labyrinth of disappointment. "If only I hadn't . . . . .", we think; or "If only I had . . . . ". And then, there are those fortunate ones. They are the people who have it made. For every wrong move we made, they made three right ones.
We think, it's not fair. I deserve better. Somehow, the self-dialogue takes on a different character. It becomes envy. And the envy becomes hatred. We begin to believe the lies whispered from the darkness. It's like some evil yeast, fermenting in our hearts. It grows and grows until we are consumed with bitterness. And the pain is almost unbearable.
But here's the thing. We've all only got a few years in this life, especially when you compare it to the timeline of eternity. When we die, that's the end of the pain, at least in this life. The things that we have (or don't have), as compared with those of others is immediately irrelevant. You can't take your BMW, or your nice house with you. You can't take your prestigious career with you. You can't take your body with you. And yes, even your family stays behind (at least until they reach the end as well).
And by the way, the folks that you were so envious of face the same thing. We all go through the same gate.
So, whatever you are going through in this life is, relatively speaking, unimportant. All of your problems will be solved soon, relatively speaking. Conversely, your eternity becomes, relatively speaking, extremely important.
This raises the question of exactly how you will plan for your eternity. Forget the last will and testament, and the side-by-side cemetery plots. Even those are temporary. Instead, think about what your options are and which one you will exercise. They are all mutually exclusive. Unlike the market, you can't hedge your bets. You can only pick one. One option is to do nothing and hope for the best. Another option (which I many people choose by default) is to hope that your good deeds outweigh your bad deeds, and that there is some sort of cosmic tally being kept. The third option is simply to open up a Bible and begin reading.
It doesn't matter what preconceptions you have. It doesn't matter if you have a real problem with religion. All that matters is that you simple open it and begin reading it at the beginning. The Bible purports to tell you what you need to do to make it through that eternal gate. You can decide for yourself whether it makes sense for you. A caveat: the Bible isn't an easy read, like many of the "fast food" books found today, purporting to provide spiritual insight. You may have to wrestle with it a bit. But if you do it with an open mind and heart, I think you will find what you are looking for.
And, by the way, if you find what you are looking for, it might even help with all the other stuff.